Most of us are sleep at this time of morning, but not me… I’m up, I’m wide awake thinking. Hello fellow bloggers, this is kyle, the real kyle, the vulnerable kyle who is about to open up to the world and at the same time close a chapter of my life hoping God will have something manifesting within me enough to open up a whole new chapter.
God is doing his Part…
I havent..
Truthfully, anyone who knows me personally, knows I have had a rough last year, not to mention the fact that the 3 years before that have been rough also… but I stuck in a hoped for the best.
It got worst…
Everything I either loved or anything that represented me as kyle began to vanish leaving me a desolate vessel of jaded emotions and painful memories causing me to spin deeper into a state of depression. I couldn’t hold on to living for life’s sake.i fell into line working with my father… searching for new passions in art, pretty faces, places, and objects. I let no wound heal, had no reason to, the pain made me feel alive.
She loved me… but she still left me.
Welcome to heart break…
Too angry to answer her phone calls, too jaded to create art, too sad to smile, this is who I was. Nobody’s pain is the same, don’t try to walk in Their shoes, just support the fact that life isn’t the best for them…This is what I wanted to say when people around me tried to pacify my downtrodden mood.
3:57 am. 2014, thur, April 17
My hands are all sweaty and pressed against the carpet, my tears flow with submissiveness, asking God to forgive me, for allowing pains to alter my personality. I’m tired of trying to piece together my broken livelihood with self righteous qoutes as to why I’m too good for certain issues but maybe it’s why they happened…
I’m ready to come back home God, The world is cold…
He told me ” you never left”
From this point on , I’m turning over a new leaf… I can’t live the way I’ve been living… it’s tearing down my moral fibers strand by strand.
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